Dealing with Bullies

Cyberbullying

2008-11-19T08:28:00.002-05:00

Cyber Bullying

Most parents are very unaware of the latest bully issue confronting their children. This is 'cyber' bullying. Teenagers and children with cellphones, and computers who are being harassed by bullies via email, text messages and chat rooms. Here is a link to a website with a ton of information on how to go about solving this problem. Most parents are totally unaware that this is happening to their children. Girls are the most common victim here.

Bullying and the Arts

2008-09-28T12:33:00.001-04:00

I have been asked on a few occasions how martial arts can be an effective tool to combat bullying. At first it all seems clear. I’ll put my child in class so he can learn to fight. However, nothing could be further from the truth. I recall a number of years ago in class Master Mason asking the students the following question: how many of you joined the school so you could learn how to fight? Of course with great eagerness, a number of the new students immediately threw up their hands. Much to their surprise Master Mason told them that the Peaceful Warriors’ (and for that matter, martial arts) were not about fighting. The look on many of the student’s faces was that of surprise and confusion. That statement has remained with me and has caused me to spend a considerable amount of time reading about bullying and how and where martial arts can be an asset, and not in the way the majority of society would think - fighting.

The following represents some of the issues I think parents and students may find informative about this topic and how martial arts fit into this problem.

First, what is bullying? Is it something that we need to define? Don’t we all know what it is and how to recognize it? I’m not so sure. What some may call bullying, others may just call a game. So what makes a particular incident a case of bullying? For one thing, certain conditions must exist. Many children joke around every day with each other, call each other names, and some times take part in some fairly physical play. Yet these incidents are not considered bullying. The difference between this type of play and bullying is the relationship between the bully and the victim. Bullying is a wilful, conscious desire to hurt, threaten to frighten another person. Most often there is a power imbalance between the two. Bullying is not limited to the physical world, bullying can come in many forms of intimidation. It can be verbal, touching or just a sneer or glance. Bullying knows no boundaries and can affect everyone in society. It can last a short or period of time and can leave lasting impressions on all who have experienced it.

So how can martial arts help outside of teaching self defence techniques? There are many benefits to martial arts training. These are not new to our society. Martial Arts have been empowering people for hundreds, perhaps thousands of years. Here are a few of the benefits particularly relating to “combating bullying”.

* Mental focus - learning in class how to execute kicks, punches, blocks and foreign self-defence techniques will require a significant amount of mental focus by the student. This focus will become a part of the student and spill over in both academic and social settings.
* Respect for self and others - the students are taught that one of the basic foundations of martial arts is that of respect for others. By bowing when entering and leaving the school, and paying proper respect to other students and instructors students also develop a healthy self respect.
* Self-esteem - martial arts have been shown to increase the self-esteem of those who join. As new students progress, small successes follow and soon they are able to accomplish things that only a short time ago seemed impossible. These achievements can not be under stated. It is these accomplishments, no matter how small they may seem to the instructor or parents that develop pride within the student.
* Discipline and self-control - martial arts provide a forum, which is very structured and focused on discipline. This atmosphere will instil a certain work ethic in the student, one that is important not only in the dojang but also in life.
* Sense of belonging - martial arts schools develop a spirit and a sense of camaraderie that is important to the student. Making new friends is often important for the development of adolescents.
* Physical fitness - martial arts training provides a cardiovascular workout as well as muscular strength. Those who train also develop a greater sense of balance as well as techniques to avoid injury.

Self-defence - although martial arts is not about learning to fight or to be the aggressor (the bully) it will, with the proper training and dedication, allow one to learn how to defend themselves.

So how do these points relate to bullying? Statistics show that most victims have few friends and have low self-esteem/self respect. These children are often viewed as a perfect target. Further, how they react to their first encounter will often dictate whether they will be a victim in the future. Children who can develop physical fitness, discipline, mental focus, self-esteem, respect for self and others, friendships and self defence awareness will gain an edge and will not look or react like a victim.
One last thing, notwithstanding all of the benefits to martial arts training, there should be continuous and open dialogue between parents and their children. Children are often embarrassed and/or afraid to talk about this subject. One of the most important things that parents can stress to their kids is that;
1. It’s not your fault if you are being bullied, and
2. You don’t have to face it alone.

Kevin Miller
3rd Dan Black Belt Hapkido / Tae Kwon Do
St Clair Beach Owner/ Certified Instructor

Back to School

2008-08-15T07:25:00.003-04:00

With the return of school in the next few weeks comes the return of the bully problem for many, many children. I know of one family were the youngest is already stressed out and crying because school is only 3 weeks away. This is a very sad situation.

As parents your job can be very difficult having to deal with this. The schools are powerless to help you, even though they will say they are doing everything they can do. Your child's self esteem will suffer as the time draws near for school and even more once school starts.

So, what can you do to help your child through this problem. You must teach your child to stand up to this fear! Remember, bullies feed off the fear of the children or adults they are tormenting. Also, the problem is never as bad as the child thinks. He or she has replayed this possible outcomes in their mind so many times, that it can paralyze them.

My advice, if you have not already done so, check out the martial arts schools in your area. If possible enroll your child in one that is run by FULL TIME career martial artists. Since these men and women are professionals who teach for a living you know you will be getting the best possible instruction.

Whatever you do, don't cheap out! Community Center Martial Arts is a great activity. It won't help with your bully issues. It won't help build self esteem. Your child needs and deserves the best you can find.

Preventing Bullying

2008-07-13T08:43:00.001-04:00

As soon as children begin to interact with others, we can begin to teach them not to be bullies and not to be bullied. We can give them words for their feelings, limit and change their behavior and teach them better ways to express their feelings and wishes. Children do not learn to solve these kinds of problems and get along by themselves. We need to teach them.

When preschoolers begin to call people names or use unkind words, intervene immediately and consistently. In kindergarten children learn the power of exclusion. We begin to hear things like, "She's not my friend and she can't come to my party." Respond with, "You don't have to be friends with her today, but it's not all right to make her feel bad by telling her she can't come to your party."

In the early elementary grades, cliques and little groups develop which can be quite exclusionary and cruel. Children need to hear clearly from us, "It's not all right to treat other people this way. How do you think she feels being told she can't play with you? Kids don't have to play with everyone or even like everyone, but they can't be cruel about excluding others.

Boys who are physically small or weak are more prone to victimization. Making fun, picking on and other forms of bullying need to be identified in their earliest stages. The message needs to be crystal clear: This is not okay. Think about how he must feel. How could you include him and let other kids know its not all right to treat others this way?
Children who are not bullies or victims have a powerful role to play in shaping the behavior of other children. Teach your children to speak up on behalf of children being bullied. "Don't treat her that way, it's not nice." "Hitting is not a good way to solve problems, let's find a teacher and talk about what happened."

For information on how martial arts can help teach your child to deal with bullies, call 519-962-9820 or email instructor@thepeacefulwarriors.org

Master Art Mason

Attention Parents! Is your child safe?

2008-06-23T08:52:00.002-04:00

Attention Parents! Is your child Safe?

Our world is becoming more dangerous by the minute. Children are being molested, abducted, murdered and hurt in our cities and on our streets. Is there anything that can be done to make our children safe, aside from taking the law into our own hands? Yes there is! Education is the answer. The more you and your children know and understand how predators work and think the better.

Surprisingly there are few groups in Canada and the United States that are really interested in helping children, until now. On Sunday June 22nd 2008 Art Mason's Peaceful Warriors' Martial Arts Institute launched their new information website called The Kid's Safe Canada Network.

This website is dedicated to providing FREE to the public information on how to teach your child to be "street smart" and avoid problems with predators, and even school yard bullies!

It doesn't matter were you live in this world, the information provided on this website will benefit you! Bookmark the site and visit often!

Go to http://www.kidsafecanada.net

If you register for this site you will be added to a mail list which will keep you apprised of workshops and seminars in your area.

Registration, like the website is totally FREE.

Yours in building strong confident children,

Master Art Mason
Founder: Art Mason's Peaceful Warriors' Martial Arts Institute
Founder: Kids Safe Canada Network

Children Don't Come with an Owners Manual

2008-05-25T09:39:00.006-04:00

Dear Parents;

Are you are frustrated with trying to be the perfect parent and raise the perfect kids... I understand. I've raised three kids of my own and I've made a many mistakes along the way. However, thanks to my experience with the principles taught in the martial arts, I was able to instill inside my kids a sense of ethics, morals, self-esteem and confidence rarely seen in other kids their age. As I was raising my family, I was also helping hundreds of other children in my martial arts school learn "character" through these techniques.

I've created the most effective tools, techniques and strategies any parent can use to build stronger, happier, healthier kids. After 20 years of raising my own (and hundreds of other kids)... I've written down my system to share with other parents looking for a better way to insure their children's success.

After all, isn't it true you feel responsible for you children's success or failure? Now, we know we shouldn't feel that way, but we do. Parents will do whatever they can to give their kids the opportunities they never had. We can't help it. It is human nature to feel obligated to give our kids 110% of ourselves.

Although it looks like a book, it is really an "Owners Manual" that you wish your children had come with on day one. A step-by-step guide that makes child-raising brilliantly simple by taking you back to the basics. You'll gain universal and timeless strategies that guarantee wonderful results.

For more information please follow this link;

Yours in raising strong, confident children,

Master Art Mason
Founder: The Peaceful Warriors' Martial Arts Institute

The 10 Warning Signs of Low Self-Esteem

2008-05-14T16:10:00.000-04:00

“People don’t often understand just how damaging having low self-esteem can be! People with low self esteem are often go unnoticed at school and at work because they do not do anything to stand out. They don’t ever go for the goal or even try to make the sports team.”

“Low Self Esteem Sufferer’s are often the target of bullies at school as well as at work because they “bullies” know they won’t give them any hassle or a hard time and will be “easy” victims who will quickly bend to their will!”

The 10 Warning Signs of Low Self-Esteem:

Walking with head and eyes down focused on the ground instead of Straight ahead.
Shy and Reserved around new people and situations
She does not ask questions in school or at home
Hard for her to make friends
Poor Hygiene
Lack of Goals and Ambition
Struggles to get out of bed
Fails to believe she can do anything meaningful or worthwhile, so she never even tries!
Does not try new things in fear of looking foolish and failing
A Victim of a Bully!

These are just SOME of the warning signs of Low Self-Esteem you may be seeing in yourself or your child. You do not necessarily show all of these warning signs, just one is enough to suffer from Low Self-Esteem.

To discover how to raise your or your child’s Self-Esteem call us at

(519) 962-9820 and learn what you can do to become or help your child become a STRONG and CONFIDENT person!

http://www.thepeacefulwarriors.org

I Think My Child Is Being Bullied!

2007-09-24T09:09:00.000-04:00

I Think My Child Is Being Bullied!
A Guide for Parents

By Donna Smith

As parents, one of the worst things we can discover is that our children are being bullied. But it's important to know that we can do something about it! What can you -- as a parent -- do if you think you're child is being bullied, and what should you tell your child?

The first step is to confirm your suspicions: Is your child the victim of a bully? Unfortunately, kids may not offer this information voluntarily. "My son came home from school with his shirt torn and scratches on his face," says Paula, whose 9-year-old son, Tyler, was bullied. "I repeatedly asked him if someone was doing this to him. He would say no, that he had fallen, or that his shirt had got caught on the fence. It took me over a month to find out that an older boy was following him home from school and physically hurting him."

There are many reasons why most children are afraid to tell their parents and get them involved. "Bullies may instill a sense of shame in victims," says Kate Cohen-Posey, author of How To Handle Bullies, Teasers and Other Meanies. "Either they internalize the names they are being called or feel like they should be able to handle it themselves."

Other factors may include the way they feel their parents will react. "If parents tend to overreact to problems or if children think parents are burdened with enough issues of their own they may not want to upset them," says Cohen-Posey.

Every parent responds differently. Janet dealt with her son's bully in a creative way. "When my son, Paul, was in third grade, a sixth grader met him everyday on his walk to school and demanded that Paul hand over his sandwich," says Janet. "Paul and I had been having fun making fancy sub sandwiches, so the bully was getting a real treat. After two weeks, Paul confessed to me that he hadn't been able to eat his lunch for some time. The next morning I made the Italian sub as usual, but in between the provolone and ham, I slipped an invoice for $3.50, that included the bully's name and street address. That seemed to do the trick! He never approached Paul again."

Paula did not get rid of her son's bully as easily. "I did everything," says Paula. "I talked to the school, I talked to the parents, I even talked to the bully. Nothing worked. We just got lucky that before the next school year started, his family had moved away."

What signs should you look for that might indicate your child is being bullied?

Physical Signs
Children are prone to get cuts, scrapes and bruises, but if your son or daughter has more than you think is "normal" you might want to look into why. Your child will probably be embarrassed to tell you that someone is hurting them, but being physically hurt cannot be tolerated. Find out what's going on!

Another sign to look for is torn clothing. Every child is going to tear their favorite shirt or rip a hole in the knee of their jeans from time to time. But, if this is happening more than you think it should, this could be a sign of being physically abused by a bully.

Complaining of headaches and stomachaches could be another sign of being bullied, especially if this happens right before the child is leaving for school. Both of these symptoms could be an attempt to get out of going to school, but they also could be very real. A lack of appetite can also be a sign. The stress of worrying about a bully can lead to real physical symptoms.

Social Signs
A reluctance to go to school is a major signal that your son or daughter is the victim of a bully. Most bullying occurs on school grounds, and this can affect every aspect of a child's education. A decline in their grades, not wanting to participate in school activities or wanting to quit an activity they already participate in should be looked into. If your son or daughter does not seem to have many friends, find out why! Children try to hide from the bully by staying in the safety of their own homes.

A child who is always losing money at school could be a victim. How many movies have you seen where the bully is taking other kids' lunch money? This really happens! Children being bullied can become very angry. This may be taken out on anyone that is around, including parents and siblings. If you notice that your child is always angry, looks depressed or is aggressive, this could be a sign as well.

So now that you know what to look for, what do you do? This would depend on whether the abuse is physical or verbal.

"If it is physical, parents need to become immediately involved," says Cohen-Posey. "Tell school authorities or press legal charges. Bullying that involves any form of touching is considered battery in most states."

If the abuse is verbal, start by talking with your child. Most bullying acts start off as verbal attacks, then can escalate. "Ask your child questions to find if there were verbal precursors," suggests Cohen-Posey. "Use a casual, curious tone so your child doesn't feel you are angry with him or her. 'Was he mad at you?' 'Did she say something to your before things got really bad?' Then empathize with your child's reaction: 'I can see why that made you so upset.' The less critical parents are of children's feelings, the more details they will find out and how things got started and how serious the situation is."

What is the worst thing a parent can do? "Do not jump to conclusions without finding out as much as you can about the situation," says Cohen-Posey. "It is easy to both overestimate and underestimate the seriousness of situations."

Many parents who find out their child is being picked on want to tell them to fight back. Stick up for yourself! You don't want your child just to sit back and take it, but make sure they know there are right and wrong ways to stand up for yourself. "Do not tell children it's OK to fight without knowing what the battle is all about," say Cohen-Posey. "Children need to know how to pick their battles and learn appropriate ways to 'stand up' for themselves that don't backfire or create more problems. By the same token, don't tell children to just ignore it. Most children are not able to do this without having very hurt feelings."

What to Do as the Parent

Inform your child's teacher, guidance counselor and principal. Ask the child if he would like to do this himself or if he would like you to do it.

Stay calm! Finding out your child is being bullied can make you angry and -- sometimes -- irrational. You can better deal with the situation if you stay calm and focused.

Know all your child's friends. Talk to them and let them know how you feel about bullies. If your child's friends know how you feel, they are more likely to come to you and let you know what's going on.

Teach your child to be proud of who he is. Let him know it is fine to be different from everyone else. If you start this early, your child will have pride in himself and know he's a wonderful person that should be treated with respect.

If the abuse is physical and you've already talked to people at the school, contact the bully's parents. Let them know what's going on and you want it to stop. Some parents may not have a clue as to what their son or daughter is doing to other people.

Consider putting your child in a self-defense course. You don't want to let your child think it is all right to physically hurt the bully, but it's not a bad idea for your child to be able to defend himself should the situation arise. These courses will also boost the child's self-esteem and make him less likely to be a victim.

If the bully is stealing your child's property, make sure to label everything the child takes to school. This will help in proving the property is your child's, and might act as a deterrent to the bully.

Advice to Give Your Child

Tell your child to stay in a group. Tell him you always need to know where he is going and with whom. Bullies rarely want to confront a person if they are with a group of people.

If the abuse is only verbal, tell your child to ignore the bully. Sometimes if bullies are not getting a response, they get bored with it and move on (hopefully not to another victim).

Advise your child to confront the bully, but only if the abuse is verbal. Tell your son or daughter to let the bully know how they feel and that they want the bully to stop. Sometimes if a bully is stood up to, he will stop.

Encourage him to talk to an adult, like a teacher, counselor, family member, church leader or family friend. While we all want our children to feel comfortable and be able to talk to us about anything, some may want to talk to someone else first. This will get the problem out in the open, and then you will have a chance to discuss it with your child.

http://childrentoday.com/resources/articles/martialarts.htm

Our 'system' is failing our children

2007-09-08T10:19:00.001-04:00

Dear Parents,

School is back in session and our bully problem is back bigger and meaner than ever. This week I had a student ask me if he should just let the bully beat him up and not fight back so that he won't get in trouble at school. What kind of crap is this? The children who are being victimized are afraid to defend themselves as the other bully, our school system is going to punish them!

Parents, don't put up with our school boards decision not to handle the bully problems. Under the criminal code of Canada you child has the right to defend themselves. This right exceeds all other rules and statutes. Here is the code below.

34. (1) Every one who is unlawfully assaulted without having provoked the assault is justified in repelling force by force if the force he uses is not intended to cause death or grievous bodily harm and is no more than is necessary to enable him to defend himself.

36. Provocation includes, for the purposes of sections 34 and 35, provocation by blows, words or gestures.

37. (1) Every one is justified in using force to defend himself or any one under his protection from assault, if he uses no more force than is necessary to prevent the assault or the repetition of it.
(2) Nothing in this section shall be deemed to justify the wilful infliction of any hurt or mischief that is excessive, having regard to the nature of the assault that the force used was intended to prevent.

I have left out the part about self defense resulting in death.

For more information please feel free to comment here.

Yours in building strong, confident children,

Master Art Mason
Founder: The Peaceful Warriors' Martial Arts Institute
http://www.thepeacefulwarriors.org

Dealing with the Bully Threat

2007-08-31T07:43:00.000-04:00

Dear Parents,

Our children return to school in a few days. We all know that the school experience should be one of the best in our child's life. But sadly it often is not. In the US the statistic is that 3 to 4 out of 10 children are bullied to the point where it can significantly effect their lives. Everyone has been bullied to some extent, but many find their own answers.

Bakc when I was a child, the problem existed, but was more isolated than it is today. The fast numbers of children I talk with daily, who are or have been bullied is staggering.

So, what are parents to do? First, for the parents, get as much information on the problem as you can find. I provide links from my different website to resources that I have checked out personally and recommend at different levels. So really, do I need to know all this? YES, don't think that your son or daughter is going to come and tell you how sever the problem is. Remember there is a threat about telling. Children believe the bully has all the power.

I have been teaching martial arts for almost 25 years now. I develop a close relationship with the students and many of the parents. I have the privilege of watching these children grow up. I deal daily with children who are bullied and often with the bullies themselves.

Why does someone become a bully?

Low Self Esteem
They have been bullied themselves.
Love the feeling of power.
Pier pressure - their friends do it.
They learned it from their parents!!!

What type of child is a victim?

Someone with low Self Esteem and confidence
Someone who is physically different (glasses, hearing aids, different coloured hair etc.)
Emotional children
Obese children, also those who are very skinny.
Quiet children.

How do we fix it? First and foremost, RAISE SELF ESTEEM.......

More on this in my next posting,

Master Art Mason
Founder: The Peaceful Warriors' Martial Arts Institute
519-962-9820

PS. Take a look at the WEBSITE. I have read parts of this work. It is worth the investment.

Information for Parents

2007-08-28T07:13:00.001-04:00

Dear Parents,

IS your child being torments at school, in the park, maybe even in your back yard. You need to arm yourself with as much information as you can get. Check out the link below.

Defeat The Bully!

Yours in raising strong, confident children,

Master Art Mason

More on Bullies

2007-08-27T07:11:00.001-04:00

Dear Parents,

Thought I'd share a pretty good article
regarding dealing with Bully's - and,
a few thoughts.

The article is available at:
http://www.msnbc.msn.com/id/8756912&&CM=EmailThis&CE=1

I've taught for years that the solution is
usually a "middle ground" between
"Fighting Back" and, "Running Away"

The best solution is to learn to communicate
in a CONFIDENT but, Non-Threatening way.

The article does allude to the possibility
of "Getting back in a Bully's face"
Probably not the best advice if done too
aggressively - however, standing your
ground and politely but firmly refusing to
be pushed around is usually the best
solution.

More in classes....

Thanks!

Master Art Mason
Founder: The Peaceful Warriors' Martial Arts Institute
519-962-9820
http://www.thepeacefulwarriors.org

Martial Arts classes can lower agression in a child

2007-08-27T07:10:00.001-04:00

Dear Parents,

There is no better way to find out if a martial arts education is right for your child then to talk with other parents who's children are involved. So here is another success story of two children, both Peaceful Warrirors' and how the arts have impacted and changed their lives for the positive!

"My sons have always been what you would call a 'handful', premature babies often are. My one son had been suspended in grade1, several times, for hands on. For six years I brought them to all the age appropriate agencies within the city for some kind of help for them. Some progress was made, but it was very limited.

Then about 4 years ago, my sons were about six, someone had recommended martial arts to me. I thought "Are you crazy? You actually want me to give my kid the ability to beat someone up? I can see it now, he is going to be expelled from school in the second grade. No way! It's not going to happen." That was my attitute for the next couple of years, all the while still trying to get them the help they needed and deserved. My point of view changed when I heard a story of a child who was like mine and how The Peaceful Warriors' helped him to be able to overcome his anger and agression at school. I has to check things out for myself, so I did. I brought the
boys there to see what they did and one son thought it was a license to kill. This worried me, but the way the children are taught is about self defense and discipline. It is not about beating people up. This was something they very quickly learned and that attitude would not be tolerated. Soon the worry about my son being expelled from school was a distant memory. They are doing much better, socially, in school and the hands on incidents have not been an issue.

If your children are having a difficult time in school or at home the masters are there to listen and help with the problem. If they can they will present the situation to the class and use it as a lesson for the rest of the class without belittleing anyone. It is done with the upmost respect for the child and parents involved.

As a parent I would recommend The Peaceful Warriors' Martial Arts Institute to anyone who cares about his or her child."

Bre-Ann S. Windsor mother of 2 Peaceful Warriors'

Find out today what is possible for your child! Give us a call at 519-962-9820 and talk with an instructor today! Martial Arts in not just an activity for kids to spend time on. It is a life changing education!

Your in the arts,

Master Art Mason,
Founder: The Peaceful Warriors' Martial Arts Institute
519-962-9820
http://www.thepeacefulwarriors.org

Study: Obese Kids More Prone To Be Bullied

2007-08-26T16:41:00.000-04:00

May 03, 2004, 01:23:40 PM

Obese kids rate quality of life as low as cancer patients Overweight adolescents are more likely than normal-weight children to be victims of bullying, or bullies themselves, a study found, bolstering evidence that being fat endangers emotional as well as physical health.

The results in a study of 5,749 Canadian youngsters echo data from British research and follow a U.S. study published last year in which obese children rated their quality of life as low as young cancer patients' because of teasing and weight-related health problems.

While not surprising given the stigma of being overweight, the new findings underscore the importance of enlisting teachers and schools in the fight to prevent and treat obesity in children, said lead author Ian Janssen, an obesity researcher at Queens University in Kingston, Ontario.
"Anybody's who's ever been on a playground would know" that overweight children are among those who get picked on, Janssen said, adding that in some cases, that may lead the youngsters to become bullies themselves.

The study appears in the May edition of Pediatrics, released Monday.

Janssen said obesity rates in Canadian children tripled from the 1980s to 1990s and show no signs of slowing down, similar to rising rates in other developed nations and in the United States, where 15 percent of school-age youngsters are obese and increasingly plagued by related health problems. Nearly one-third of American children are overweight.
Social isolation

The toll on emotional health is just as worrisome, the researchers said.
"The social and psychological ramifications induced by the bullying-victimization process may hinder the social development of overweight and obese youth, because adolescents are extremely reliant on peers for social support, identity and self-esteem," the researchers said.
Their data is based on a national survey of Canadian youngsters, ages 11 to 16, conducted in 2002.

Among normal-weight youngsters, almost 11 percent said they were victims of bullying, compared with 14 percent of overweight youngsters and nearly 19 percent of obese youngsters.
About 8 percent of normal-weight children said they were perpetrators, compared with 11 percent of overweight youngsters and 9 percent of the obese children.
Obese boys and girls were more than two times more likely than normal-weight youngsters to be victims of "relational" bullying -- being intentionally left out of social activities. Obese girls were about twice as likely to be physically bullied on a weekly basis as normal-weight girls; among obese boys the risk was slightly lower but still substantially higher than for normal-weight boys.

Obese girls were more than five times more likely than normal-weight girls to physically bully other youngsters at least once weekly. Among boys the risk of being physically aggressive was only slightly increased, but they were more than twice as likely to make fun of others and spread lies and rumors than normal-weight boys.

Cleveland child psychologist Sylvia Rimm, author of "Rescuing the Emotional Lives of Overweight Children," said many schools with anti-bullying programs don't specifically address overweight youngsters.

Rimm said reducing bullying could help youngsters overcome their weight problems. Bullying perpetuates those problems because it isolates them, and "the only thing left for overweight kids is food and television," she said.

Is Your Child Harassed by Bullies?

2007-08-26T10:53:00.000-04:00

Is Your Child Harassed by Bullies?
(He or she may be – and you might not even know!)
Can Karate, Martial Arts, Tae Kwon Do help solve this problem?

Dear Fellow Parents,

Let me tell you about a kid I know named Tyler.

Tyler was usually enthusiastic and happy. His cheery disposition and bright smile went with him
wherever he went. But when he began 4th grade, his parents began to notice some changes.

Tyler was becoming more and more withdrawn. He often seemed uneasy, and less sure of himself than ever before.

In third grade, Tyler was always eager to get outside to play after school. Weekends were happily spent in family activities.

But now, Tyler stayed around the house, keeping to himself. He seemed reluctant to talk about friends, school, or much of anything else.

Tyler’s parents didn’t know what to make of it…but they knew something wasn’t right.

A call to the school teacher was made. Tyler’s teacher, Mrs. Phillips, said, as if Mom and Dad should have known about it all along, “He’s probably upset about Sam. Sam has been giving Tyler a hard time for quite a while now.” So there it was.

Tyler had a bully problem.

Most parents have found their child in this situation before. As a parent, you can’t help but feel angry, bewildered and totally unsure of what to do.

What I’m about to tell you next will seem kind of hard to understand? But if you think back to when you were a kid, and recall how small you felt, and how big the world seemed, perhaps you can remember

Kids with bully problems feel ashamed.

Are you aware that most kids who are being bothered by bullies don’t tell their parents? They just “suffer in silence.”

Because they feel embarrassed, they usually don’t tell anybody. Not their parents. Not their friends. Not the people at school.

You can imagine what suffering this type of harassment is doing to their Self-Esteem… And all the while, you don’t even know there is a problem.

For many kids, this is the first “grown up” problem they ever have to encounter. And they keep the whole, disturbing thing on their own young, inexperienced shoulders.

And – even if you eventually do find out about it –

What are you going to do?

Chances are, you feel just about as unsure as Tyler probably does.

• Maybe you will call Sam’s parents, and talk the situation over with them? Reason with them? Good luck. You see, there’s a reason why Sam is a bully. And when you eventually call his parents, you will probably see what that reason is. Most likely, Sam’s parents will be defensive and uncooperative.

• Will you call the school? Probably. But, remember, school officials get these calls all the time. Most teachers and administrators would like to help…but they don’t have the answers, either. They will probably just remind you that if Tyler should try to defend himself, he will be kicked out of school, right alongside the kids who is the cause of the problem.

• You might encourage Tyler to stand up for himself; to defend himself. But you and I both know that Tyler is probably no match for the bully. And, even if he was, what good will getting him expelled do (see above)?

• Besides – and this is important – do you really want to teach him that fighting is the answer? I will tell you (and, remember, I have 20 years experience in the Martial Arts), fighting is not the answer. If Tyler resorts to fighting this bully, there is always a bigger, tougher bully waiting for him.

So – you do what parents usually do.

You tell Tyler to avoid Sam. And you unwittingly set into motion a series of events that will have Tyler like running and hiding from trouble, feeling like a victim…feelings that could very well follow him for the rest of his life.

Or worse and I hate to even mention this…sometimes the “Tyler’s” of this world responds to their anger and frustration by becoming the bully.

You lose, either way.

And so, of course, does Tyler. Does any of this sound familiar?

Believe me. I understand how you are feeling. After all, I’m a parent too, and I understand how you feel. I also remember how I felt when I had to deal with the neighborhood “tough guy” at 10 years old. That’s why I started martial arts lessons – and, my problems were solved – without ever having to use any physical skills what-so-ever.

In coaching them…and in “raising” the other 20,00 or so kids we’ve dealt with over the last 21 years as a martial art instructor, I’ve learned a thing or two about teaching children to handle these disturbing bully problems.

Now, read carefully. I’m going to tell you a secret.

If you understand what I’m about to tell you, you will have the “key” to resolving this entire, frustrating situation.

The Secret: Some kids don’t get picked on at all.

That’s right. Some kids don’t get picked on – at all.

They don’t pick on other kids, either. They are free to enjoy themselves, to be themselves…and it wouldn’t even occur to a bully to give them a hard time.

What I can do for you.

It’s pretty simple, really. I’m just going to take your child out of the group of kids that get picked on – and put him or her in the group of kids that doesn’t get picked on.

And, I’m going to do it without turning your nice child into one of those “tough guys.”

That’s a big claim, isn’t it? After all, if I can really do what I say, not only will this solve a sticky problem for you…it will place your child, once again, on the road to a level of self-esteem that will empower him or her to do anything. No “victim” mentality. No running and hiding.

No being ashamed of something that isn’t his or her fault.

So how does it work?

It will take about 15 minutes for one of my instructors to explain it to you. And, I guarantee the answer will surprise you. I have locations around the Windsor / Essex county area including Windsor, Belle River, St. Clair Beach and Essex. Karate, martial arts, can help your child overcome this problem, without violence!

Now, you may want to first try some of the alternative “strategies” I’ve listed above – but I suspect you already have, and are just about fed up with having your kid be pushed around.

So don’t wait. Just call my office at 519-566-6610, or email info@thepeacefulwarriors.org and we will set up a time for your visit with a Master Teacher.

If you call now you will receive, with no obligation:

1. A FREE private consultation of one of our Master Instructors

2. 2 FREE introductory lessons at The Peaceful Warriors' Martial Arts Institute, with no obligation

We will be providing this as a community service for a limited time and have limited capacity for this special program – so please call now to reserve your space.

Yours for Better Kids,

Master Art Mason
Founder: The Peaceful Warriors’ Martial Arts

PS. See what Karate or the martial arts can do for your child!

P.S.S Check us out on the WEB at http://www.thepeacefulwarriors.org