Back to School

With the return of school in the next few weeks comes the return of the bully problem for many, many children. I know of one family were the youngest is already stressed out and crying because school is only 3 weeks away. This is a very sad situation.

As parents your job can be very difficult having to deal with this. The schools are powerless to help you, even though they will say they are doing everything they can do. Your child's self esteem will suffer as the time draws near for school and even more once school starts.

So, what can you do to help your child through this problem. You must teach your child to stand up to this fear! Remember, bullies feed off the fear of the children or adults they are tormenting. Also, the problem is never as bad as the child thinks. He or she has replayed this possible outcomes in their mind so many times, that it can paralyze them.

My advice, if you have not already done so, check out the martial arts schools in your area. If possible enroll your child in one that is run by FULL TIME career martial artists. Since these men and women are professionals who teach for a living you know you will be getting the best possible instruction.

Whatever you do, don't cheap out! Community Center Martial Arts is a great activity. It won't help with your bully issues. It won't help build self esteem. Your child needs and deserves the best you can find.

Preventing Bullying

As soon as children begin to interact with others, we can begin to teach them not to be bullies and not to be bullied. We can give them words for their feelings, limit and change their behavior and teach them better ways to express their feelings and wishes. Children do not learn to solve these kinds of problems and get along by themselves. We need to teach them.

When preschoolers begin to call people names or use unkind words, intervene immediately and consistently. In kindergarten children learn the power of exclusion. We begin to hear things like, "She's not my friend and she can't come to my party." Respond with, "You don't have to be friends with her today, but it's not all right to make her feel bad by telling her she can't come to your party."

In the early elementary grades, cliques and little groups develop which can be quite exclusionary and cruel. Children need to hear clearly from us, "It's not all right to treat other people this way. How do you think she feels being told she can't play with you? Kids don't have to play with everyone or even like everyone, but they can't be cruel about excluding others.

Boys who are physically small or weak are more prone to victimization. Making fun, picking on and other forms of bullying need to be identified in their earliest stages. The message needs to be crystal clear: This is not okay. Think about how he must feel. How could you include him and let other kids know its not all right to treat others this way?
Children who are not bullies or victims have a powerful role to play in shaping the behavior of other children. Teach your children to speak up on behalf of children being bullied. "Don't treat her that way, it's not nice." "Hitting is not a good way to solve problems, let's find a teacher and talk about what happened."

For information on how martial arts can help teach your child to deal with bullies, call 519-962-9820 or email instructor@thepeacefulwarriors.org

Master Art Mason

Attention Parents! Is your child safe?

Attention Parents! Is your child Safe?


Our world is becoming more dangerous by the minute. Children are being molested, abducted, murdered and hurt in our cities and on our streets. Is there anything that can be done to make our children safe, aside from taking the law into our own hands? Yes there is! Education is the answer. The more you and your children know and understand how predators work and think the better.

Surprisingly there are few groups in Canada and the United States that are really interested in helping children, until now. On Sunday June 22nd 2008 Art Mason's Peaceful Warriors' Martial Arts Institute launched their new information website called The Kid's Safe Canada Network.

This website is dedicated to providing FREE to the public information on how to teach your child to be "street smart" and avoid problems with predators, and even school yard bullies!

It doesn't matter were you live in this world, the information provided on this website will benefit you! Bookmark the site and visit often!

Go to http://www.kidsafecanada.net

If you register for this site you will be added to a mail list which will keep you apprised of workshops and seminars in your area.

Registration, like the website is totally FREE.

Yours in building strong confident children,

Master Art Mason
Founder: Art Mason's Peaceful Warriors' Martial Arts Institute
Founder: Kids Safe Canada Network

Children Don't Come with an Owners Manual

Dear Parents;

Are you are frustrated with trying to be the perfect parent and raise the perfect kids... I understand. I've raised three kids of my own and I've made a many mistakes along the way. However, thanks to my experience with the principles taught in the martial arts, I was able to instill inside my kids a sense of ethics, morals, self-esteem and confidence rarely seen in other kids their age. As I was raising my family, I was also helping hundreds of other children in my martial arts school learn "character" through these techniques.

I've created the most effective tools, techniques and strategies any parent can use to build stronger, happier, healthier kids. After 20 years of raising my own (and hundreds of other kids)... I've written down my system to share with other parents looking for a better way to insure their children's success.

After all, isn't it true you feel responsible for you children's success or failure? Now, we know we shouldn't feel that way, but we do. Parents will do whatever they can to give their kids the opportunities they never had. We can't help it. It is human nature to feel obligated to give our kids 110% of ourselves.

Although it looks like a book, it is really an "Owners Manual" that you wish your children had come with on day one. A step-by-step guide that makes child-raising brilliantly simple by taking you back to the basics. You'll gain universal and timeless strategies that guarantee wonderful results.

For more information please follow this link;

Yours in raising strong, confident children,

Master Art Mason
Founder: The Peaceful Warriors' Martial Arts Institute

The 10 Warning Signs of Low Self-Esteem

“People don’t often understand just how damaging having low self-esteem can be! People with low self esteem are often go unnoticed at school and at work because they do not do anything to stand out. They don’t ever go for the goal or even try to make the sports team.”

“Low Self Esteem Sufferer’s are often the target of bullies at school as well as at work because they “bullies” know they won’t give them any hassle or a hard time and will be “easy” victims who will quickly bend to their will!”

The 10 Warning Signs of Low Self-Esteem:

1. Walking with head and eyes down focused on the ground instead of Straight ahead.
2. Shy and Reserved around new people and situations
3. She does not ask questions in school or at home
4. Hard for her to make friends
5. Poor Hygiene
6. Lack of Goals and Ambition
7. Struggles to get out of bed
8. Fails to believe she can do anything meaningful or worthwhile, so she never even tries!
9. Does not try new things in fear of looking foolish and failing
10. A Victim of a Bully!

These are just SOME of the warning signs of Low Self-Esteem you may be seeing in yourself or your child. You do not necessarily show all of these warning signs, just one is enough to suffer from Low Self-Esteem.

To discover how to raise your or your child’s Self-Esteem call us at

(519) 962-9820 and learn what you can do to become or help your child become a STRONG and CONFIDENT person!

http://www.thepeacefulwarriors.org

I Think My Child Is Being Bullied!

I Think My Child Is Being Bullied!
A Guide for Parents

By Donna Smith

As parents, one of the worst things we can discover is that our children are being bullied. But it's important to know that we can do something about it! What can you -- as a parent -- do if you think you're child is being bullied, and what should you tell your child?

The first step is to confirm your suspicions: Is your child the victim of a bully? Unfortunately, kids may not offer this information voluntarily. "My son came home from school with his shirt torn and scratches on his face," says Paula, whose 9-year-old son, Tyler, was bullied. "I repeatedly asked him if someone was doing this to him. He would say no, that he had fallen, or that his shirt had got caught on the fence. It took me over a month to find out that an older boy was following him home from school and physically hurting him."

There are many reasons why most children are afraid to tell their parents and get them involved. "Bullies may instill a sense of shame in victims," says Kate Cohen-Posey, author of How To Handle Bullies, Teasers and Other Meanies. "Either they internalize the names they are being called or feel like they should be able to handle it themselves."

Other factors may include the way they feel their parents will react. "If parents tend to overreact to problems or if children think parents are burdened with enough issues of their own they may not want to upset them," says Cohen-Posey.

Every parent responds differently. Janet dealt with her son's bully in a creative way. "When my son, Paul, was in third grade, a sixth grader met him everyday on his walk to school and demanded that Paul hand over his sandwich," says Janet. "Paul and I had been having fun making fancy sub sandwiches, so the bully was getting a real treat. After two weeks, Paul confessed to me that he hadn't been able to eat his lunch for some time. The next morning I made the Italian sub as usual, but in between the provolone and ham, I slipped an invoice for $3.50, that included the bully's name and street address. That seemed to do the trick! He never approached Paul again."

Paula did not get rid of her son's bully as easily. "I did everything," says Paula. "I talked to the school, I talked to the parents, I even talked to the bully. Nothing worked. We just got lucky that before the next school year started, his family had moved away."

What signs should you look for that might indicate your child is being bullied?

Physical Signs
Children are prone to get cuts, scrapes and bruises, but if your son or daughter has more than you think is "normal" you might want to look into why. Your child will probably be embarrassed to tell you that someone is hurting them, but being physically hurt cannot be tolerated. Find out what's going on!

Another sign to look for is torn clothing. Every child is going to tear their favorite shirt or rip a hole in the knee of their jeans from time to time. But, if this is happening more than you think it should, this could be a sign of being physically abused by a bully.

Complaining of headaches and stomachaches could be another sign of being bullied, especially if this happens right before the child is leaving for school. Both of these symptoms could be an attempt to get out of going to school, but they also could be very real. A lack of appetite can also be a sign. The stress of worrying about a bully can lead to real physical symptoms.

Social Signs
A reluctance to go to school is a major signal that your son or daughter is the victim of a bully. Most bullying occurs on school grounds, and this can affect every aspect of a child's education. A decline in their grades, not wanting to participate in school activities or wanting to quit an activity they already participate in should be looked into. If your son or daughter does not seem to have many friends, find out why! Children try to hide from the bully by staying in the safety of their own homes.

A child who is always losing money at school could be a victim. How many movies have you seen where the bully is taking other kids' lunch money? This really happens! Children being bullied can become very angry. This may be taken out on anyone that is around, including parents and siblings. If you notice that your child is always angry, looks depressed or is aggressive, this could be a sign as well.

So now that you know what to look for, what do you do? This would depend on whether the abuse is physical or verbal.

"If it is physical, parents need to become immediately involved," says Cohen-Posey. "Tell school authorities or press legal charges. Bullying that involves any form of touching is considered battery in most states."

If the abuse is verbal, start by talking with your child. Most bullying acts start off as verbal attacks, then can escalate. "Ask your child questions to find if there were verbal precursors," suggests Cohen-Posey. "Use a casual, curious tone so your child doesn't feel you are angry with him or her. 'Was he mad at you?' 'Did she say something to your before things got really bad?' Then empathize with your child's reaction: 'I can see why that made you so upset.' The less critical parents are of children's feelings, the more details they will find out and how things got started and how serious the situation is."

What is the worst thing a parent can do? "Do not jump to conclusions without finding out as much as you can about the situation," says Cohen-Posey. "It is easy to both overestimate and underestimate the seriousness of situations."

Many parents who find out their child is being picked on want to tell them to fight back. Stick up for yourself! You don't want your child just to sit back and take it, but make sure they know there are right and wrong ways to stand up for yourself. "Do not tell children it's OK to fight without knowing what the battle is all about," say Cohen-Posey. "Children need to know how to pick their battles and learn appropriate ways to 'stand up' for themselves that don't backfire or create more problems. By the same token, don't tell children to just ignore it. Most children are not able to do this without having very hurt feelings."

What to Do as the Parent

• Inform your child's teacher, guidance counselor and principal. Ask the child if he would like to do this himself or if he would like you to do it.
• Stay calm! Finding out your child is being bullied can make you angry and -- sometimes -- irrational. You can better deal with the situation if you stay calm and focused.
• Know all your child's friends. Talk to them and let them know how you feel about bullies. If your child's friends know how you feel, they are more likely to come to you and let you know what's going on.
• Teach your child to be proud of who he is. Let him know it is fine to be different from everyone else. If you start this early, your child will have pride in himself and know he's a wonderful person that should be treated with respect.
• If the abuse is physical and you've already talked to people at the school, contact the bully's parents. Let them know what's going on and you want it to stop. Some parents may not have a clue as to what their son or daughter is doing to other people.
• Consider putting your child in a self-defense course. You don't want to let your child think it is all right to physically hurt the bully, but it's not a bad idea for your child to be able to defend himself should the situation arise. These courses will also boost the child's self-esteem and make him less likely to be a victim.
• If the bully is stealing your child's property, make sure to label everything the child takes to school. This will help in proving the property is your child's, and might act as a deterrent to the bully.

Advice to Give Your Child

• Tell your child to stay in a group. Tell him you always need to know where he is going and with whom. Bullies rarely want to confront a person if they are with a group of people.
• If the abuse is only verbal, tell your child to ignore the bully. Sometimes if bullies are not getting a response, they get bored with it and move on (hopefully not to another victim).
• Advise your child to confront the bully, but only if the abuse is verbal. Tell your son or daughter to let the bully know how they feel and that they want the bully to stop. Sometimes if a bully is stood up to, he will stop.
• Encourage him to talk to an adult, like a teacher, counselor, family member, church leader or family friend. While we all want our children to feel comfortable and be able to talk to us about anything, some may want to talk to someone else first. This will get the problem out in the open, and then you will have a chance to discuss it with your child.

http://childrentoday.com/resources/articles/martialarts.htm

Our 'system' is failing our children

Dear Parents,

School is back in session and our bully problem is back bigger and meaner than ever. This week I had a student ask me if he should just let the bully beat him up and not fight back so that he won't get in trouble at school. What kind of crap is this? The children who are being victimized are afraid to defend themselves as the other bully, our school system is going to punish them!

Parents, don't put up with our school boards decision not to handle the bully problems. Under the criminal code of Canada you child has the right to defend themselves. This right exceeds all other rules and statutes. Here is the code below.

34. (1) Every one who is unlawfully assaulted without having provoked the assault is justified in repelling force by force if the force he uses is not intended to cause death or grievous bodily harm and is no more than is necessary to enable him to defend himself.

36. Provocation includes, for the purposes of sections 34 and 35, provocation by blows, words or gestures.

37. (1) Every one is justified in using force to defend himself or any one under his protection from assault, if he uses no more force than is necessary to prevent the assault or the repetition of it.
(2) Nothing in this section shall be deemed to justify the wilful infliction of any hurt or mischief that is excessive, having regard to the nature of the assault that the force used was intended to prevent.

I have left out the part about self defense resulting in death.

For more information please feel free to comment here.

Yours in building strong, confident children,

Master Art Mason
Founder: The Peaceful Warriors' Martial Arts Institute
http://www.thepeacefulwarriors.org